Calling God "Daddy"- Part 2

The question of the day is: Can we call God "Daddy"? In my last post I surveyed how we naturally tend to view God as King and therefore relate to Him that way, as well as the fact that most Evangelical Christians have never called God Daddy (and most would probably agree that the term seems just a bit too familiar). I hope this post helps those of us who are longing to understand just what God holds out to us in the hope of the Gospel and in our identity as His children.

If the Gospel is true and through the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ we are truly able to find forgiveness of our sins through Jesus' bearing our punishment for sin (justification), then the question of what we are saved UNTO has to be just as clearly spelled out for us. It seems that many Christians live the Christian life as if we have attained the status of angels- you know, able to be in God's presence, serving Him and worshiping Him, free from sin. Yet God did not create us in His image nor send His Son to die for the redemption of angels or to bring us to the status of angels. God's redemption of fallen humanity goes far beyond our freedom from and victory over sin. The Scriptures clearly reveal that God has adopted us INTO His family, with all of the blessings that come with being joint-heirs with Christ.

Romans 8:15-17 and Galatians 4:4-7 are our key passages here, both which speak of the doctrine of adoption. What stands out in these passages, though, and what most of us (myself included) have a hard time grasping is when Paul states that we have received the gift of adoption as sons (Galatians) and the Spirit of adoption (Romans) by whom we cry (Romans) and who Himself cries out within us (Galatians) "Abba! Father!" The implication for us is that we who were slaves (both to the Law and to sin) are now free to cry out by the Spirit (who is also crying out!) "Abba! Father!" So what does this mean for us as we approach our now Father God? Is He Daddy or simply Father?

I recently was on a blog of a highly respected Christian who loves to write about the doctrine of adoption. His subject was the "Abba" cry. He, along with some other very good commentators, have argued against “over-sentimentalizing” the Abba cry into such affectionate terms as “Papa” and “Daddy”. Though I understand these arguments from the standpoint of etymology, they fail to recognize the most powerful argument for precisely using these terms, and thus the unifying result of being a people who united are free to cry out “Daddy!” (along with the multi-ethnic unifier that it provides- next blog). Let me explain.

Any title for “Father” can at the same time be the most endearing of all terms or the most cold and distant of all terms. For example, in the movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the rich and spoiled girl Veronica says over and over again, “Daddy, I want…” or “Daddy, get me…” (of course, you have to say it in a snobby British accent). This cold use of the term “Daddy” is a far different use than a child who dearly loves his or her father and who finally sees him after he was away on a four day trip. Can't you see that child running to be embraced in the arms of his father shouting with tears in his eyes, “Daddy!”? I have experienced this myself!

It is not necessarily the word employed for "Father" as it is the intimacy of the relationship behind the word when it is used. In Jesus’ case, there is an intimacy with the Father that goes back from before the world began (Jn. 17:1-5), a perfect intimacy that we can only get a taste of here on earth. And it is in that intimacy of relationship that Jesus knew with the Father that He had in his heart when he cried out to His Father in the garden (just before His coming death!), “Abba! Father!” (Mk. 14:36) So there is nothing wrong with translating the term "Abba" as “Papa!” or “Daddy!” or “Father” or even “Pa”, so long as the understood intimacy of the word is at the center. If we have genuine intimacy with our Father God (the intimacy promised by Jesus Himself in Jn. 17), then we are free to address Him as Papa or Daddy or any other endearing word that our language might have to offer. And the beauty of this is that it does not matter what language or nation you come from, we are all free to enjoy our Daddy God together as His children.

Author George MacDonald understood this as seen in his classic children's story The Princess and the Goblins. In one scene the Princess Irene is awaiting the return of her father, the King of the land. As he approaches on his white horse she runs to him crying out "King Papa!" Truly that is what He is.

It is a beautiful thing to hear a child here in Uganda who was once fatherless and who has come to know their TRUE Father (the true Father of the fatherless) pray addressing God as "Tata" (Daddy). May we begin to lead others (spiritual and physical fatherless) into the glorious freedom of the children of God where we are set free to come before our God and King who is in reality our King Papa and Tata.

Calling God "Daddy"- Part 1

The last time my family and I were in the States I was able to preach at a number of churches. The message that I spoke was "What Uganda Has Taught Me", which is a bit unusual for a missionary to speak on. After all, haven't I been sent to Uganda to teach others? Well, I guess that is partly true, but I am not afraid to readily admit that Uganda has taught me FAR more than I have had to offer myself. It is in this place (New Hope Uganda) and in this community of believers that I have learned family, fatherhood, manhood, and a much greater vision and understanding of the Gospel of Jesus. One of the greatest truths to radically penetrate my heart has been the doctrine of adoption and all that is held out for us in relationship to our Daddy God. Yes, Daddy God, I know that is a bit "personal" for a reference to God, at least by most people's standards. Yet it was here that I first began comfortably referring to God as Daddy.

I can remember the first time I heard someone call God "Daddy". I was at Bible College and my good friend Drew Kelly prayed and addressed God as "Daddy". I was stunned. "Did he just say THAT". I thought he was weird (after all, God is too big and mighty to be called Daddy), yet deep down I knew that I longed for that kind of freedom in my relationship with my heavenly Father. I just didn't understand that that was what the Gospel truly frees me to do. I have found that is true of most Christians. When I was preaching in those churches about what Uganda has taught me, I focused on the doctrine of adoption. I asked the congregations how many of them have ever called God "Daddy". Do you think it was the majority of people? Of course not. In fact, in a crowd of around 200, I found that if 10 people raised their hands that was pretty good. It was typically around 5. Why?

For most of us it is much easier to relate to God as King and Master (which He is!), yet often I think we are naive as to just why that is. I think it comes back to our reductionist Gospel and the way we have been "taught" to read the storyline. Our emphasis on justification alone tends to bend us that way. For example, when we read Genesis 1-3 we naturally read it through the lens of God as King, though that term is not there. If you read commentaries on creation in Genesis, God is pictured as a King issuing forth his commands. My favorite kids' Bible (The Big Picture Story Bible put out by Crossway) does an amazing job of presenting the consistent development of the theme of God's rule, God's people, God's king and God's place throughout the Old Testament, and the grounding for the Kingship of God is of course in Genesis 1-3. Yet why do we naturally read it through the lens of Kingship when the motif of God's Fatherhood is just as clearly unfolded there?

Why do we naturally read the text this way? Well, part of the reason is that God IS KING over the world, there is no question of that, so it is quite a natural reading of the text to see God as the King and us as his subjects, those who will be shown to break his commands and therefore come under his judgment. This is the clearest way we present the Gospel looking back on the OT to introduce the concept of sin and our need of a Savior for violating our Just King God's commands. But remember, our reductionist Gospel simply emphasizes our need for JUSTIFICATION and presents the Gospel only in that context. What is lost?

Here is what is lost- the reality that God is the true Father of all of humanity (see Acts 17:28-29 as well as Luke 3:38 where Adam is called the son of God) and at creation our amazing and loving and perfect Father provided us with everything we need (identity, security, provision and protection) all found in Himself and in the security of the garden. At the fall we rebelled against our Father (and King) and began life "outside the family". But the Father was not done with His children. He had a plan that was set from eternity to send the PERFECT and UNIQUE Son of God to die for our sins and to undo what was done at the fall, and to bring His children back into His family through adopting us back (wouldn't that make a great kid's Bible!).

You can then read through the entire OT and see how God unfolds the fact that He is Israel's Father (as well as King), all culminating in Jesus' coming (the true King) who came to reveal the Father (read John 14) and how to be in relationship with the Father. Because we don't tend to read the storyline this way, we naturally lose what it means at salvation to be brought into the family of God (a HUGE NT theme) and to be able to call God "Father" and even "Daddy" (more on this later) through our spiritual adoption by God.

That is why most of us simply assume that we have been "born again" into the family of God and never think much about what it means that God is truly our Father. We have little foundation for walking in relationship with this true and perfect Father as the one who IS our identity, security, provision and protection. Eph. 3:14 says that it is in God that every family (or literally every fatherhood) in heaven and on earth is NAMED, yet we have very little understanding of what Paul is talking about here because we don't understand the storyline in terms of family. We also so often fail to grasp just what is held out to us in relationship with this amazing God and Father.

May we as God's people begin to be confronted by who God has revealed Himself to be and who we truly are IN Him as His children and as the bride of our Lord Jesus. And wouldn't it be awesome to find a kids' Bible that traced the themes of Kingship and Fatherhood throughout the Bible as well. Who knows, maybe someday...

(the pic is of me, Isaiah and my "son" John around a growing Jackfruit- which is the most unique fruit in the world! I chose this pic simply because it pictures the natural intimacy of my sons and I. They don't hesitate to call me "Papa")

Reductionist Gospel and the Doctrine of Adoption

My friend Godfrey typifies exactly what this post is about- how many Christians know that they are saved from their sin, yet in their hearts they remain detached from day to day genuine joy in God. Godfrey grew up in western Uganda and never knew his father. Rooted in this not-knowing was a desperate longing for identity, something he never gained. After leaving home and moving deeply into the things of the world, God amazingly brought him out to New Hope where he met Jesus and found forgiveness and new life in God. Though now saved, he lacked day to day joy in God and could never understand how the Christians in church could worship God with such obvious joy. Godfrey, though saved, was still an orphan in his heart. His relationship with God became one of slavery, doing this and this (and not doing this and this) in order to please God. He knew that New Hope's ministry was "bringing the Fatherhood of God to the fatherless", but in his mind he had a father, he just didn't know who he was. His heart was restless and he was spinning downward quickly. It was at this point that he one day read the words of Psalm 68:5 painted on the side of a New Hope vehicle, "A father to the fatherless is God..." Suddenly, his whole life's search was over. He saw clearly that God is his father, that he is NOT fatherless, but has a clear identity IN God. Since that time, Godfrey has continued growing in his relationship with God as his Father, and he as a son. The doctrine of adoption is the sweetest of all biblical teachings for him, the truth that he is an adopted son in the family of God.

It is a proclamation of the Gospel that those who put faith in Jesus are justified sinners now called saints. It is assumed that God is father, after all, we are born again, but the depth of that relationship typically goes unexplored. In fact, if you ask most Americans to define "the Gospel" they will say something like this: Jesus Christ, the unique eternal Son of God, was born, lived, and died on the cross so that those who put their faith in Him can be forgiven of their sins and live forever with God. Of course, you can add or take away various parts, but the essence is the same: we are justified- finished. YET, the glory of the Gospel is that it goes far beyond most of our simplified versions and includes many other glorious truths, including the fact that after we are justified, God literally ADOPTS us into His family.

The fact that the early church clearly saw this relationship between salvation and our new standing in God is seen not only in amazing passages like Romans 8:12-17 and Galatians 4:1-7, but early church fathers like Origin who expounded quite a lot on the amazing adoptive relationship that we believers now have with God. It is a reductionist Gospel that fails to bring believers into the depth of glorious truth contained in all that is held out for us as adopted believers into the family of God. Many Christians in our day (especially as fatherlessness grows) have no earthly concept of God as Father (or if he is father, then he's distant and far away) and find it easier to relate to Jesus then to God the Father. We desperately need to recapture who God has revealed Himself to be as the TRUE Father, as the source of all redeemed fatherhood, and as the one who frees us to enter His presence proclaiming, "Abba! Father! Daddy!" as sons and daughter who are accepted not on the basis of what we do to please Him, but simply because He has chosen us, loves us and has adopted us, all because of the perfect son, Jesus.

This all becomes quite clear when sharing the Gospel with fatherless children (orphans). It is wonderful to see children responding to the call of the Gospel, to find forgiveness and true life in Jesus, yet it is equally exciting to see children set free from their lifelong wandering and search for both identity and fatherhood through coming to know the perfect Father, God. May we all be among those who point others (and especially those who are fatherless in our midst) to the true Father, that we might truly come to know and walk in what is called "the glorious freedom of the children of God (Rom. 8:21)."

Feeling the Effects of a Reductionistic Gospel that in Uganda has led to TWO Gospels- one of Salvation and one of Deliverance

When I was a teenager, wrestling with thoughts of heaven and hell, feeling the pull between going to church and doing what I wanted to do, I really just wanted to know one thing: WHAT DID I REALLY NEED TO KNOW and DO TO GO TO HEAVEN WHEN I DIED. I didn't know it at the time, but I (like many people out there) simply wanted the Gospel reduced down to its lowest common denominator so that I could be sure to go to heaven and yet continue on living as I wanted to live. The answer I received, of course, was that I needed to pray, confess my sin and need of a Savior, and ask Jesus to forgive my sin. Saved. I liked being saved, knowing I was saved, but not living like I was saved- that was the tough part- and after a while I fell into the common "backslider" category and had stopped going to church, entranced by the things of the world.

Unfortunately, this is a common story for many, and while many wouldn't like to admit it, the truth is that much of Western Christianity has bought into a reductionist Gospel that flows out of the very question posed above- what is the base line for being a Christian. This is a question that the early church would NEVER have asked, and if they had, there would not have been a short answer. Our reductionism, however, flows from the church's defense against liberal Christianity that with the Enlightenment and post-Enlightenment thought began to call into question the heart of Protestant Christianity- the doctrine of justification by faith alone. While it has been a much needed defense, the sad reality is that with that defense, much of the church simplified the Gospel down to a formula for getting to heaven, for forgiveness of sins, for living for the "pie in the sky", and that has become THE GOSPEL.

If you had to boil down the early church's understanding of the Gospel, it would have encompassed at least three components. There was an understanding that Jesus, in His death AND resurrection, defeated the three great enemies: sin, death, and Satan. There was an understanding of what this meant for believers for their lives HERE and NOW, and great doctrines (like the doctrine of adoption) were enjoyed and expounded. Interestingly, in a secular society dominated by science and the dispelling of the supernatural, the understanding of Jesus' victory over Satan and freedom from bondage to demons and spirits was lost, after all, what good westerner actually lives in fear of Satan or demons?

The truth of what I wrote above is seen quite clearly in the efforts of the western missionaries of the 19th and early 20th centuries. Take for example one of China's pioneer missionaries, James Fraser. He was 22 years old when he set out from England to China where he would spend the rest of his life working among a tribespeople known as the Lisu. Fraser would journey on horseback or on foot across rugged mountains for days and weeks on end to proclaim the Gospel of Jesus to people who had never heard that name before. Entrenched in demon-worship (spirit-worship/ancestor worship) Fraser was disheartened when an entire family that had professed faith in Christ (and an influential family at that) had been attacked by the spirits and out of fear had gone back to their old ways. His daughter writes, "In spite of the convictions growing upon him James was still slow to believe that demon-possession can be as real today as when our Lord was upon earth." And again she writes, "It was during this survey that the hold demonism had over these people came home to James. This was not a childish belief in something non-existent. The demons were real: their power was demonstrable. The fear the villagers lived in amounted to total slavery."

James Fraser had not been prepared for what he would meet in terms of the spiritual war that would be waged among the Lisu turning to God. He had proclaimed the Gospel, many had accepted the message of Jesus and wanted to follow God, but the hold of demonism was too strong and because their core beliefs (their core worldview) was not touched with the message of the Gospel, they naturally went back to what they knew and to what had controlled their way of life for years on end.

Interestingly, the same could be said about many Christians in Uganda today. Fraser was wise enough to come to see what the Gospel proclaimed about Jesus' victory and authority over Satan, and so he was able to lead the new Christians out of slavery and fear of Satan. Sadly, it seems that many of the early missionaries in Uganda were not able to present the Gospel in the fullness of its message concerning Satan and demons. It seems that when the Gospel was proclaimed and people were "saved", for most the "high" Christianity proclaimed by the missionaries (high meaning how to get to heaven) had little to offer the reality "down here" of dealing with Satan and demons.

Early on in my time here I noticed how controlled people are when it comes to fear of Satan. I found church services unable to begin until Satan was bound and removed, along with the "spirit of dozing" or any other spirit of something. I found people still paralyzed by the shrill of an owl at night, as culturally it is proclaiming the looming death of a family member. I found people up in the night binding and casting demons because they heard a noise on their roof, along with many other practices born out of fear. In reality, the more I got into the "Christian" culture, what I found was that because of the lack of understanding the Gospel's message concerning Satan, here there is in reality many who proclaim TWO different Gospels.

The first Gospel is the Gospel of salvation. This is what a person needs to know in order to be saved. But that Gospel doesn't deal with Satan and demons, so there is a second Gospel, a Gospel of deliverance. I have even heard some of these teachers try to scare people with the reality of demons and their power, telling them that they first need to get saved, "and then we can deal with the demons and your family curses". What I am speaking about is not a small "part" of Ugandan Christianity, but it is very active under the surface of almost every major denomination because it is under the surface of most Christians (it is entrenched in the worldview). Once, during my first year of ministry here and after doing a teaching on Jesus' authority over Satan, one of my students discussed the issue with me until finally he admitted that (to him) "Jesus has the authority, but Satan has the power." This is the reality regardless of what the Bible says. That is the mindset of many Christians.

Galatians 1 is very poignant in its proclamation about the guarding of THE Gospel, to the point where even if an angel comes and preaching another Gospel, he is to be accursed. The centrality of THE Gospel is seen as the motivator and the empowerment of Paul's ministry throughout the Epistles. There are not two different Gospels, but ONE Gospel that proclaims Jesus' victory of sin, death and Satan, the same Gospel that is inexhaustible in its scope and depth of both mystery and blessing for those who believe its message. I am thankful that my eyes have been opened up to this reality and my lips have been privileged to proclaim its message- and I love seeing my Ugandan brothers and sisters SET FREE from fear and bondage to Satan by simply coming face to face with Jesus' victory and authority over Satan.

May we as God's people not promote a reductionistic Gospel any longer, but may we begin to see the centrality of the Gospel to all areas of our lives and the freedom that it brings in all areas. I want to use my next post to dialogue about this a bit more, but specifically in relationship to the doctrine of adoption and the healing of the orphan heart.

Book Review- Theology in the Context of World Christianity

I was down this week with back issues and decided to use the time to plow through a book that has been staring at me from my shelf for the past few months. The subtitle of the book is what really grabbed my attention: how the global church is influencing the way we think about and discuss theology- WOW.

Timothy Tennent does not disappoint in the least. Tennet recognizes that modern theology is dominated by western reflection on theology and to find publication outside of a western context is quite a rarity. This is disheartening in the context of a growing world Christianity that has seen what he calls the new "Majority World Christians" as coming from the non-western world. Africa, South America, Korea, India and China are all seeing incredible growth of the church. It is the unique context of the growth of these churches that is forcing the churches in various localities to wrestle with theological questions and issues in a way that the west does not face, the result being a richer and deeper theological reflection in specific areas.

The book raises various topics in theology from the differing world contexts, like the following: Theology- Is the Father of Jesus the God of Muhammad; Anthropology- Human Identity in Shame-based Cultures of the Far East; Christology- Christ as Healer and Ancestor in Africa; and Ecclesiology- Followers of Jesus in Islamic Mosques (just to list a few).

I found his critiques and evaluations of the various topics to be VERY insightful. Tennent writes with a sharp theological understanding and provides good insights into the impact on not just theology, but the life and health of the church in a global context.

Living in Uganda and working with orphans, I have already been forced to think about God in ways that my natural western context did not provide. The Fatherhood of God, the doctrine of adoption, the church and community (among other topics) have been deepened and enriched as a result of living in another cultural context. I long to see the Western church glean from what God is doing in this specific context. Tennent goes a long way in providing the foundation and vision to make this much needed global discourse more of a reality.

I highly recommend the book to any who desire to think outside of their own cultural contexts and desire to be impacted by the global discourse that is arising. Of course, that discourse is coming into the West more than ever before (indeed, it can't be stopped)- let's just hope that we have ears to hear before it's in our face and we've missed out on the discussion.

The Heart of an Orphan- Part 3

Here is the second half of some of the various characteristics of the heart of an orphan. I am so thankful for my friend Mark Stibbe (author of an amazing book called From Orphans to Heirs) who gave us the idea of describing some of these characteristics through his own list of characteristics. Mark is a humble brother who speaks on the doctrine of adoption out of personal conviction since he himself has been adopted by an earthly father as well as his heavenly Father. He has recently moved into full-time ministry of sharing the message of the Father's love to God's people all over the world. He has a special place in his heart for Africa's orphans. Check out his organization (The Father's House Trust) and website at http://www.fathershousetrust.com. You will find New Hope Uganda listed there as one of their ministry partners.

INSECURITY: Tied into fear. A sense of feeling unprotected all the time and therefore feeling unsafe. The result is great care given to make sure that the heart is protected. A defence mechanism is constantly employed where one is quick to interpret what people say and do, whether in trouble or safe. One often reads intentions into statements and actions that were not there. Offence is easily taken where none was intended.

POVERTY: A feeling of constant scarcity that says there will never be enough even in the midst of plenty. The goal is therefore to get what is needed NOW, because what will happen the next day is unknown. The now becomes the focus without thought or hope for the future. Decisions are made based upon what seems temporarily best for needs in the moment. Hoarding becomes a lifestyle.

GREED: Tied into poverty. The constant need for more and more whereby the heart is never satisfied but is driven to be. Care is not given to whether others have what they need so long as individual needs are met. There is no consideration of others, or if there is it is only in what can gotten at their expense.

ANGER: Anger is always present in the heart because of what has been experienced in the past and comes out over even a small thing. It often seems like an eruption that has come out of nowhere, but it has always been there, only suppressed. Fighting at a moment's notice among children is a very common outflow of this anger that is constantly present in the heart. Another aspect is that there is always someone to blame for anything bad that happens.

INDEPENDENCE: The heart posture of doing what is desired without being questioned. If questioning comes, then rebellion will follow. Things have to be done “my way” and anyone who gets in the way of that is an enemy. Accountability is rejected and life is lived according to what is best in one's own eyes.

STRIVING: This defines life. Since there is no one that cares, one has to do what it takes to make sure that things will work out for good. One will try at all costs to do anything possible to make life better, even overworking, yet without finding satisfaction in it. Often, identity is tied into what is being strived after. The need for success can even be with an attitude of revenge- “After I have succeeded then those who have rejected me will turn back to me and I’ll get them back!” One's value is attached to the accumulation of what he or she has.

ESCAPE: Pain in the heart leaves it continually unsatisfied. Therefore the heart seeks satisfaction in things that give it temporary value or identity- things like sports, drugs, sex, and alcohol. At times the false world created by the heart can be more real than the painful one that is a reality, and thus the false reality is sought after at all costs and at all times. In the West, entertainment, video games, pornography and the internet become some of the favorite modes of escaping reality in addition to the ones listed above.

The picture above is the family that we work with here at New Hope called Samuel Family.

The Heart of an Orphan- Part 2

When I first began working among orphans I was surprised at how different it was from what I expected. The media of the 80's had made me think that all African children had large bellies, suffered badly from malnourishment, and were for the most part quite miserable. Yet when I came to East Africa, I found quite the opposite. Though you can find destitute situations of impoverishment, most of the orphans I was around in the countries of Zambia, Kenya, Uganda and Rwanda were incredibly happy children. I was stunned at how children who had known such tragedy could yet have such joy in life. Yet even in this I was quite deceived.

It was only after living among orphans here in Uganda that my eyes were opened up to the reality of the destitute state that many orphans carry around in their hearts. For many, the joyful external is a mask of the deeper pain of the heart, and for others, the joy is only momentary, giving way to a gloom that reveals the isolation of the heart. It was Paul Kusuubira who put flesh on this for me in his description of the heart of an orphan, drawn from his own experience and journey to healing in the Gospel.

I'm going to post half of his description in this post and half in the next. Let me add though, the orphan heart or the orphan "spirit" is simply a description of the human heart that we are all born with but which is drawn out in the specific context that orphans face. You will find many of these descriptions in the Apostle Paul's descriptions of the flesh throughout the New Testament revealing the connection to the sinful human heart, and if you have eyes to see you might see these same things at work in your own heart and life regardless of whether you are a physical or spiritual orphan. These are also helpful to understand why many fatherless children act or respond as they do to your attempts to love them or move into a heart relationship with them. I'd love some feedback here, so please feel free to interact.

ABANDONMENT: The deep feeling of having no one to turn to for answers or help. One has to make his own way because those who would help are not there. Even when people are there, they cannot be trusted because they will probably leave, too.

LONELINESS: The loss of identity in family leaves the feeling of being out of place and isolated, even when surrounded by people. The preference is to be alone in a self made “cocoon” rather than to be involved with people. The feeling of loneliness is often both hated and enjoyed. It is hated because the heart longs to be free to relate and enjoy relationships, but is enjoyed when it is able to gain sympathy from people without the tie of strong relationship. Self-protection is at the heart of this.

REJECTION: The feeling of being unwanted by people. One feels like a misfortune whose presence is a burden for those around you. The thought is, “Why should I even exist if I’m an inconvenience to others?”

HOPELESSNESS: Because the present is so unstable, one cannot even imagine what the future will hold. There are no dreams. Life becomes a puzzle of trying to put pieces together again to make sense out of life. One just exists with no sense of purpose or meaning.

WORTHLESSNESS: A conviction that says I am of no value. If a person comes who seeks to bring value to you or to appreciate you, it is denied and the person rejected.

LOSS OF IDENTITY: Tied into worthlessness. In the African culture people are identified by their fathers. Children are a priority because a man’s name and identity is continued in them. To die without children is to “perish”. On the other side, to lose a father is to lose the one where that identity is found. “Who is his Dad?” is asked of every child. If the father has died the reply is, “He’s just an orphan.” A result of this loss of identity is that one cannot identity himself with anyone (especially male figures who can easily betray). One can not lift his or her head- it stays “down” because the father, the source of identity, has died.

SADNESS: Tied into loneliness and the outflow of the hurt in the heart. Happiness can come for a moment, but it always gives way to the feeling of sadness. Even in the midst of a conversation, one's entire demeanour can suddenly change as the heart reconnects with its deep sadness. It is unexplainable by the person feeling sad, but it is the fruit of pain. It can also be a tool to keep people around to bring comfort, but without the commitment of relationship.

MISTRUST: It is hard to believe and trust what people say and do. Because one is alone, without value, and abandoned, one can have no confidence that people are truly there to help or that they are not trying to use him or her for their own benefit. The heart will ride out the relationship to the point of what one can get, but it is always ready to leave as soon as there is reason to suspect any kind of rejection. The heart is careful to select who it will allow to enter into its sphere. It operates in comfort zones.

HIDING: This is both physical and emotional whereby one does not really want to talk about real things, but it is free to talk about things surrounding the real issue, careful to make sure no access is given to the real issue. Authority figures are suspect and kept away because of the fear of experiencing the pain they might cause. Any correction means rejection and the heart retreats away from the corrector. Accountability is very difficult to accept, as the true problem is never dealt with, only surface problems.

SUPERFICIALITY: Tied into hiding, it becomes the guard of all relationships. One can never know the true heart as it is guarded and protected. Relationship is kept at a distance for fear that the true heart will be revealed. When the heart is pursued intentionally, the person will end it all together.

MANIPULATION: Using the situation one is in to convince people to give you what you want. Emotions, sadness, loneliness, all are used for the advantage of the suffering one. Life is a drama where acting becomes the key to gain.

DECEIT: Constant lies are told to make sure that the heart remains safe and protected. Truth will hurt and pain is to be avoided at all costs. The memory becomes selective and only exposes what will provide safety in the situation.

FEAR: This defines life. Anything that has the potential of causing pain or the memory of pain is to be fearfully avoided. Fear of what “could be” or “could happen” is always on the mind. It pushes the heart to pursue safety at all costs. Obedience does not flow out of what is good for me or out of love for the person asking, but because of the fear of what could happen if I fail to obey.